I was facing a young little asian lady wrapped in a big scarf. She was making herself up. Out of her little Mary Poppins bag she was pulling a whole suite of tools. She was using one of those shiny pocket mirrors that enlarge every minute defect by a factor of 10. She started by brushing some pale powder all across her face. Then she lined her eyebrows with some sort of magic wand. To her lips she first smooched some gloss from a stick and then outlined them with what looked like a pencil.

Then she pulled out this scary metal gadget that came out of a horror torture movie, plugged it around her eye sockets and operated it. Next was yet another magic wand which she used to make her eyelashes 5 times longer and bolder. To finish it off, she fluffed some red powder on her cheeks. All this while chatting to her friend who was already made-up and who was eating a banana.

She got off at a retail centre. Obviously she doesn’t care enough about hiding what she consider her defects from fellow train commuters. I wonder if she needed to look good for her boss or for her customers. I wonder by how much that 30 minute session increases her sales.

There’s a dozen ladies everyday just in my carriage doing the same thing. It’s like a rite. And at work you can almost tell how bumpy of a train ride some of your lady colleagues have had. Ladies, it’s not the make-up that makes you look beautiful. But as long as it makes you feel better, keep splashing it on.